For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with making decisions. This difficulty is often linked to ADHD executive function challenges. At the time, I had no clue I had ADHD and that my impulsive nature was one of the many symptoms neurodivergent brains present.
So, I used to have a sign that said: “I’m not indecisive, I’m flexible.” The sign was, of course, a lie, but a useful one.
“Oh, I’m just indecisive!” was my way of laughing off something that, deep down, frustrated me beyond words. I was constantly changing my mind, and everyone around me knew I couldn’t stick to a decision.
I would second-guess myself relentlessly, asking anyone who would listen to help me make choices I knew I needed to make for myself.
The grocery store clerk.
My hairdresser.
Random people at bus stops.
Each time I faced a decision, I’d spend days agonizing over every possible detail, running myself in circles only to run out of steam and settle on a choice that didn’t align with my values.
Other times, I’d make impulsive, snap decisions that I regretted almost immediately. This was the other side of the same defective coin; the sudden certainty that felt like salvation until it revealed itself as just another kind of mistake.
This pattern of poor decision-making and impulsivity cost me big, financially, emotionally, and personally. I desperately needed a way to make consistent, intentional decisions. I struggled with confidence in my choices, but I wanted something I could rely on for both big and small decisions.
The breaking point came when I’d spent five years wanting to leave teaching. Changes in statewide assessments were penalizing students rather than helping them grow, and I knew I wanted to stay in education but in a different capacity. That year, I made what felt like a firm decision: I would not return to the classroom. The decision lasted exactly as long as it took for fear to override clarity.
Despite everything, I accepted a teaching position that I knew did not align with my strengths. I ignored the warning signs, pushed aside my gut feelings, and convinced myself I’d make it work. The warning signs were not subtle.
The gut feelings were not wrong. And as a result, it drained me, financially, emotionally, and mentally. Worst of all, I was not able to be fully present for my students. I have always said the moment I can no longer do right by my students, it’s time to leave the classroom.
Yet here I was.
That’s when I knew something had to change fundamentally about how I made decisions. Not just this decision, but the way I approached all decisions.
Why ADHD Brains Struggle with Decision Making
If you’re reading this and nodding along, it’s probably because you’ve had your fair share of impulses, regret them the minute you make them decisions yourself.
The Science Behind ADHD Decision Paralysis
ADHD affects executive function, the mental skills that include working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. When we face decisions, our brains have to juggle multiple pieces of information while predicting outcomes and managing emotions. For ADHD brains, this cognitive load can quickly become overwhelming.
Think of it like trying to organize your closet while someone keeps adding more clothes to the pile. Eventually, you either freeze completely or start shoving everything into random drawers just to make it stop.
When Impulsivity Meets Executive Dysfunction
The cruel irony of ADHD decision-making is that we oscillate between two extremes. Sometimes we’re paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice, spending weeks researching the right vacuum cleaner, reading reviews, placing said vacuum in carts for days on end without purchasing. Other times, we buy three vacuum cleaners in one afternoon because we couldn’t decide which version, figured we’d return the other two, and because they were on sale and seemed like good ideas at the moment.
Both responses stem from the same executive function challenges, but they require different strategies to manage.
The Real Cost of Poor Decision Making with ADHD
Financial Impact of Impulsive Choices
Let’s talk numbers because they matter. The average woman with ADHD spends significantly more on impulse purchases than neurotypical peers. We buy courses we never complete, gym memberships we rarely use, and organizational systems that end up creating more chaos than they solve.
I once calculated that I’d spent over $3,000 on courses, notebooks, planners, apps, and productivity systems in a single year.
The irony wasn’t lost on me that I was too disorganized to track my spending on organization tools.
Emotional Toll of Decision Regret
The financial cost is real, but the emotional cost runs deeper. Each poor decision chips away at our self-trust. We start believing we’re fundamentally incapable of making good choices, which makes future decisions even harder.
This creates decision fatigue—the deteriorating quality of decisions made after a long session of decision-making. For ADHD brains already working overtime, this fatigue hits faster and harder.
I cover the financial impact of ADHD in my Money Block System™.
Introducing the P.A.U.S.E. & ACT™ Framework for ADHD Decision Making
Why Structure Helps Neurodivergent Brains
That’s when I developed the P.A.U.S.E. & ACT™ framework, a structured, repeatable system to filter my choices, helping me stop making impulsive decisions driven by fear and instead align them with my goals, values, and financial reality.
For ADHD brains, structure is the scaffolding that allows us to build something lasting. When we have a clear process to follow, we free up mental energy for the things that actually matter.
How to Use P.A.U.S.E. & ACT™ for Better ADHD Decision Making
Put It in Writing (P) – Reducing Cognitive Load
The first step is getting everything out of your head and onto paper. Write down the decision you’re facing and list all your options. Limit yourself to 3-5 options maximum to avoid overwhelm.
For each option, including the pros and cons, assign each a “decision impact score” which helps your brain prioritize what actually matters versus what just feels urgent.
Assess Impact (A) – The Financial Reality Check
This is where many of us stumble. We make decisions based on how we hope our future selves will behave rather than how our actual selves operate.
Ask yourself three questions:
- What’s the total cost of this decision, immediate and long-term?
- How does this impact my monthly budget?
- What’s the effect on my savings and debt?
If you struggle with money decisions, this is where a system like my Money Block System™ becomes invaluable because it helps you see the real financial picture before emotions take over.
Understand Your Patterns (U) – Learning from ADHD Triggers
This step requires brutal honesty. Review similar past decisions and note what worked and what didn’t. More importantly, identify your impulsive triggers.
Mine include: end-of-day fatigue, social media scrolling, and feeling behind on goals. Knowing these helps me recognize when I’m not in the right headspace to make important choices.
Set Core Values (S) – Decision Alignment for ADHD
Your core values act as your North Star when everything else feels unmanageable.
Does this decision align with what you actually value, or just what you think you should value?
Core values help you with direction. A decision that’s 70% aligned with your values is better than one that’s completely disconnected from them.
Emergency Plan (E) – ADHD-Friendly Safety Nets
Before you decide, plan for the worst-case scenario. What’s your exit strategy if this doesn’t work out? Having backup options reduces the anxiety that often drives poor decisions.
This step also includes setting up systems to support your choice. If you’re deciding to freelance, your emergency plan might include a financial cushion and a list of potential clients.
The ACT Phase – Moving from Paralysis to Action
The next step is a crucial and necessary step. Set a 48-hour timer and give yourself permission to really consider the decision. When the timer ends, you choose and commit to moving forward.
The timer serves two purposes: it prevents endless deliberation (decision paralysis) while ensuring you don’t choose impulsively. It’s the sweet spot for ADHD brains.
Here’s what I want you to remember: most decisions aren’t as permanent as they feel in the moment. You can always course-correct, pivot, or even completely change your mind later.
We want to make thoughtful decisions and then adjust as you learn more. Give yourself permission to be human and imperfect. The worst thing that happens with most decisions is staying stuck in the endless loop of “what if.”
Real-World Examples: P.A.U.S.E. & ACT™ in Action
I could give you a quick example here, but real decision-making is messier and more nuanced than a few bullet points can capture.
In the P.A.U.S.E. & ACT™ workbook, you ‘ll see exactly how the framework applies to career changes, financial decisions, relationship choices, and even daily decisions like whether to say yes to that volunteer opportunity that sounds amazing but might overwhelm your already packed schedule.
The example walks you through the complete process, including the messy middle parts where you’re not sure what your gut is telling you or when your values seem to conflict with each other.
The framework is straightforward, but applying it to your specific, complicated, very human situations takes practice. The workbook gives you that practice with scenarios you’ll actually recognize from your own life.
Making This Framework Stick with Your ADHD Brain
The key to making any system work with ADHD is building it into your existing routines.
I’ve integrated P.A.U.S.E. & ACT™ into my Permission To Achieve planner, with prompts that remind me to use the framework before making significant choices.
Start small. Use it for medium-impact decisions first, like choosing a new morning routine or deciding whether to attend a networking event. Once the process feels natural, apply it to bigger choices.
We will not always make the “right” decisions, but consistent, intentional ones that you can live with and learn from are worth the while.
Practical Takeaways
- Download the framework and keep it somewhere you’ll actually use it, your phone, your planner, or printed by your workspace
- Practice with low-stakes decisions first to build the habit
- Set decision deadlines to prevent endless rumination
- Track your decision outcomes to refine your process over time
- Be kind to yourself when decisions don’t work out perfectly
Conclusion
P.A.U.S.E. & ACT isn’t about becoming a perfect decision-maker overnight. It’s about creating a reliable process that works with your ADHD brain rather than against it. Every time you use this framework, you’re building evidence that you can trust yourself to make thoughtful choices.
The woman who used to ask strangers which coffee to order now runs her own business, makes financial decisions with confidence, and rarely second-guesses herself into paralysis. The framework didn’t change who I am—it gave me a way to channel who I am more effectively.
Your decisions shape your life. Make them count.
